It is the holidays....

I am thinking about what I'm thankful for....

I am thankful for my support group...you who stop in and read what we are up to; provide support and well wishes. Thankful for seizure meds and the ketogenic diet. Thankful that we live during a time that can provide medical care for Samantha.

But this year I am especially thankful for a little perspective.

Three years ago, around Thanksgiving time it became clear to me that Samantha wasn't progressing the way a baby should. But I didn't talk about it. In fact no one really talked about it, not even Samantha's doctor....

"Place her on her tummy more often and up her calories in the formula." Doctor's advice...

Oh well she's fine...just needs a little more tummy time....that's what the doctor said.

So the holiday season was spent placing Samantha on her tummy as much as possible and trying to convince myself that everything was fine. I never really talked about how scared I was....scared that Samantha wasn't 'right' scared that something could be wrong with my child. Terrified that our lives would be different from what we expected.

It was the big, stinky elephant in the room.

No one talked about the elephant.

Elephant's take up a lot of space....it takes a lot of energy to not acknowledge the elephant.

It was a crappy way to spend the holidays.

This year I am grateful for the fact that we know our lives are different and we don't pretend otherwise. I am grateful that we don't have to relive that first, uncertain year.

The silent elephant moved out as soon as we acknowledged that she was indeed in the room and there was indeed an issue...something about moving onto another family who needed a big, obvious, pachyderm

This was good because elephants eat a lot.

Happy Holidays